Monday, February 22, 2010

Stage Five: In the Weeds

Well friends,

It has been a strange week for me in the online dating world. My emotions have been up and down. There have been some trials and tribulations. I might be losing my mojo and my mind. And no actual dates have taken place! But I can tell you this: All my time is being sucked away by this endeavour.

One of my messages early on in this experiment was from a good-looking man who reminds me of John F. Kennedy Jr. He's 31 years old and in marketing. We started chatting online and he asked me out. I texted him Friday to firm up the plans. He said that he was actually off that day, but unfortunately, I was on my way to Toronto. So we made plans to meet Sunday. I was feeling a bit of the residue of my Saturday night festivities and was not at my best Sunday. However, I planned to go through with it anyway, all in the name of research!

I got a text at 1 p.m. that said he might have to cancel. He would know for sure a bit later on. So I waited. I got another text that said he could meet after all. He suggested a pub at 7 p.m. I said okay. But I was starting to feel misgivings. This is all very nerve-racking in the first place. When there is a lot of lead time and planning the nerves get worse! Then I realized that the big Canada/U.S.A. hockey game was on that night. There would be massive crowds and everyone at this bar would be watching TVs. I wondered if that was his safety net if things went wrong. And I admit, I felt kind of annoyed. Was he not even bothering to take this seriously? I said maybe we should make it another place, or another night. He chose another night. So we have not met yet, and I have lost some enthusiasm. This Sunday we will try again.

But there is someone else, a dark horse, who has entered the scene. I believe he is not a practical choice, but am intrigued against my better judgement. We have chatted for a week and I have agreed to meet him this weekend. We have started a texting relationship, and have gotten wrapped up in the expectation and emotion. He is a musician and is divorced with a child. He did not post online that he has the child, but told me today in a text. I am wondering why. Is he cautious, or just out for a good time? These are things that you cannot tell online! This is trickier than I ever thought possible.

So I am already breaking two of my new rules:

1) If you think you want to meet someone, meet them quickly.
2) Don't begin a relationship online before you meet(i.e. emails/texts) in order to avoid overblown expectations.

Friends, I am keeping my chin up! I will not let my nerves or misfires make me give up this easily. But I am slowly realizing the truth: Online dating is hard work, and not play.


  1. The guy that wants to meet in the pub is a genius. Going on a date and still getting to watch the hockey game... very smart.

  2. Yes, I figured that the men would be cheering that guy on! LOL. I guess my mistake is not being as clever as he is....Hmmmm. This requires some thought.

  3. Don't worry, stay brave!!! Dark horse sounds interesting....Perhaps his child lives in a different city/province/country and he doesn't see them very often? I'm trying to stay optimistic for you

  4. Mrs. S,

    I must thank you for taking the brunt of the mistakes and then sharing them with us, that way I know how to handle myself when I try this. I am very confident you'll find the right match, keep hackin'.